You are so clingy. You are a psychopath. You need to get a life of your own. Go out and meet your friends. Why are you so insecure. I just talked to her, I didn’t cheat on you. You are lucky you have a boyfriend like me, if it were someone else, he would have left you for good. I can’t take these fights anymore.

What do you think a person goes through when they hear these things; sometimes on daily basis? Just like it’s said, “Clapping is not possible with only one hand”, is the same with insecurity as it is not one person’s responsibility. If your lover is having insecurity issues, then you should help your partner overcome it. It is not easy for everyone to let go and move past situations easily. Here I’m not saying that it’s always your fault that your partner is feeling insecure. It is possible that they may have deep rooted issues from the past or from their childhood.

For many of us, fear of unknown is not a small thing, but it becomes much greater of a fear in their minds. It controls them mentally and even physically. This happens because the person knows they will not be able to handle a bad situation in a graceful way. Insecurity lies from low level to panic attacks to a person.

First, you need to recognize if there’s anything that you do that affects how your partner reacts or feels. You may not know how much your actions may affect your partner’s thoughts. Do you promise things and cannot deliver? Do you have a friend of the opposite sex with whom you spend a lot of your time? Do you lightly poke fun of your partner in public sometimes? These things may not be too important for you to think of as triggering insecurity, but your partner has already decided to pick a fight with you next time any of these things happen. Be prepared to make changes. You love your partner and making them feel comfortable should be your priority.

What can you do to help your partner?

Most of the time, you expect your insecure partner to let it go and get over it. For you all their thoughts and assumptions are not important enough to fight about or to even feel sad about. You feel that way because you don’t feel the way they feel. You do not get so insecure about things and argue all the time. If you tell your partner to just “get over it”, they will feel more neglected than before and it will not only fuel more insecurity issues because it shows you don’t care about how they feel.

You need to start being very very generous with giving affection towards them. They need affection and a loving touch. A loving touch heals a person emotionally. There are unreasonable things that an insecure person asks for and you need to maintain your boundaries. But keeping a promise is important in all relationship especially if there’s someone who needs assurance.